No Sex and The Suburbs

Welcome to the suburbs. Out of boredom and procrastination I decided to start a column. Here are my thoughts, ideas, and experience. Enjoy.

Captain Morgan

There is this boy in my school that is quite popular amongst the ladies. There is always a girl I hear comment about him being cute or sexy. Well, as I was walking to class today with a fellow peer she happened to stop and talk to him for a bit. They were discussing his recent tattoo. Well he got it in his shoulder blade and when he went to lift up his shirt to show this fellow peer, the only thing that came to mind was how the perspective seem to be off (AP Art kid probs…) I could have easily checked him out and have a little eye candy but I didn’t. Captain Morgan as I like to refer to him is not bad looking at all. He has light eyes and pretty defined calf, yet he doesn’t speed up my heart palpitations. This little encounter made me realize that hotness/cuteness/beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Captain Morgan probably made the panties of many girls wet but mine are as dry as the Sahara Desert. It is interesting to see how different taste could be. Even the hottest guy or girl could not be hot for someone. Yet, how does maxim and people figure out the hottest people list?? Tricky tricky people. They make us doubt who we think is hot or not by generalizing these list. It doesn’t matter what the public thinks, but what you think. 

Singling

To be frank, I am not sure if singling is a word. But if it is not, here is my definition: singling is the act of acting single. Now you may be wonder how the hell one acts single. Does one hide their boyfriend and lie about being in a relationship? Nope. Singling is when you are single, but you have the aching need to post it everywhere so everyone could know you’re single. Singling is for those people who secretly want a relationship. We have all seen the “Single and ready to mingle” tweets, descriptions, and captions. There are also the vines of no boy wants me but it’s okay because I have food, the fridge, pantry, etc. Now, some of them could be hilarious but it seems that the whole teenage population decided they are single and post it in all possible media. It is getting old very quickly. I don’t see the need of someone having to post his or her relationship statues everywhere. It may sound absurd that I am stating this hence the fact that I have this blog, but most of the teens post just seem to me as a bit too desperate. They’re compensating their lack of love with the only thing that will “love them back”, which is social media. Sometimes, a person needs to vent and use the social media outlet, but if you find yourself constantly posting about your relationship status then you may want to put down that cellular device and reconsider. Be fabulously single. No need to post it. Just do you and you’ll see that everything will work out.

Unconditional love

The title of this blog would make one infer that the topics are all about relationships and yes, most of the time they are but this time I want to write about the unconditional love. This unconditional love is the one a mother has for her son. I am not a mother yet, broke the 16 and preggers curse that haunts our generation, but as I was walking to school I witness an act that inspired me to write. I was minding my own business just walking to school from the student parking section when I saw a woman open the car door and help her son out. From then on I started to pay more attention every time I walked into school. This woman every day drives her son and helps him put his backpack on and sends him to school. I don’t know what but it is clear that her son could possibly have some kind of disability. Having a child with disability is definitely a toll. A mother though is willing to endure the hardships and struggles for her son. She is willing to become a lioness and fight for her cub. It is just amazing the love a mother could have for her child. There have been mothers that stand next to their son or daughter even if they are serial killers. This unconditional love is something so special. This unconditional love is something that aches. This unconditional love is through thick and thin. I guess there is a reason that mothers have a special connection with their child.

Something About Love

Warning: this post may be cheesier than cheese nachos. In life, there are different types of love. There’s the first love that is suppose to be all sweet and innocent. Then there’s the toxic love that is abusive and just breaks one down mentally and maybe even physically. But the love I am going to write about today is the long lasting love. This is probably the hardest love to find. It’s not impossible, but definitely a challenge. Usually, people change and get bored and just fall out of love. But this long lasting love defeats all the odds. I am not trying to jinx it (knock on wood) but I am pretty sure that my parents have this kind of love. They have been together now for about twenty-four years and they are still going strong. They have been through so much together that I am certain they can define all odds. A simple example is just the daily interaction of my mother and father. My dad has to deal with mum. She is an outgoing, outspoken, lively woman who will do whatever she desires. She has done some things that another man would have left her because of them. The easiest and simplest example that comes to mind is her teeth ordeal. She had an unsuccessful teeth surgery and now she’s missing about four teeth. It wouldn’t   be too bad if they were the back ones but they are the frontal ones. Now teeth wouldn’t cause a couple to divorce, but it would definitely take a toll in the relationship. A man usually likes his woman to look sexy and I am positive that missing four teeth doesn’t sound too sexy. This is a silly example, but I always see my dad sneaking up to my mom from the back and stealing a kiss or whispering in her ears. It’s those little things to remind her that even if she’s getting old she still is his number one catch. Besides my parents, there are always the grandparents. They are a nut case and they act as if they despise each other but it has been around 54 years and they’re still together. They have taught me the long lasting love. I know that even in this society, it is still possible. After all, there will always be that triple threat L: long lasting love. Just have faith little ducklings. 

A Little Too Rough

Tumblr is a place where anyone can vent and dream. This is a place where anything could technically be posted. My poor eyes have seen things that will haunt me forever. One common theme though I tend to see on such a place is the aftermath of sex. Now you may ask what exactly is the aftermath. Well, the aftermath is the bruises, scratches, hickeys, and all other battle wounds. These battle wounds make me wonder if it’s steamy sex that someone had or they just got assaulted. There are multiple pictures of girl’s bodies with hickeys. Now I am not old school; I understand hickeys happen but having huge bruises all over your body is a little scary. I wonder if they had sex with a kinky human or with a vampire that tried to suck all the blood from her body… multiple times… There have been pictures that the hickeys are the size of a fist. Now you may think I am exaggerating but I am surely not! Now, I am not an old fart who doesn’t like to have fun and get a little funky but there is a thin line between having fun and acting like a sex slave. I know this is a super random post, but this ordeal had been bothering me a bit. Call me close-minded; I just think that some times this desire of being freaky could get out of hand. All I am saying is, it is going to be extremely awkward if you have to explain to your boss why it looks like you have been beaten up. 

Bae

I sometimes wonder if I am an inexperience 18 years young girl or a grumpy old man. It’s random and polar opposites but some teenage things just make me want to crawl out of my own skin and run. I probably just like to rant and criticize society but being completely honest, who doesn’t? Well, today’s topic of discussion is the word bae. This is a big WTF moment for me. Babe is a term I can understand and tolerate. It’s short and simple and sometimes cute. But someone decided that a four-letter word was too much of a burden and he or she took the letter “b” out and transform babe into bae. All I want to know is why is it now a trend? Why did we have to follow someone’s laziness and reward it? Couldn’t we pull a Regina George with Gretchen and her word “fetch” and tell such individual that bae is never going to happen? The other nations think that we are the laziest country out there and we are feeding their beliefs by shortening our vocabulary. Now, I am all about not caring what people think but no one wants the reputation of being a lazy butt. The foreigner (I am referring about myself) is no vocabulary guru but how hard is it to type one more letter? How hard is it to pronounce one more letter? We really should stop this madness. I swear I want to report everyone on instagram or twitter just because they used the word bae. It is unacceptable! By saying the word bae we sound like sheeps, “Baeeee” “Baeeee”. It just sounds so unattractive. I may be overreacting, which tends to happen, but lets all not downgrade our generation even more. Let’s be proactive and make a change! I say we all boycott this word! Imagine the better off we will be if we stopped using it! Be proactive and make a change my dears. With this, I leave you. Love you baes…. I kid I kid I would never. On the real, love you darlings. Xoxo

Kiss Cam

I have never been a witness of a kiss cam during a game (could be the fact I don’t really go to any games) but I have seen the vines and videos of them. This kiss cam fiasco is risky business. As silly as it sounds, I think that even a kiss is an intimate thing. People are legitimately sucking each other’s faces. There is that interaction between lips. Besides that, the kiss can definitely go wrong. Now you may think, “How the hell can a kiss go wrong? It’s just a kiss”. Well a kiss is such a simple gesture yet if not executed correctly it can make someone feel awkwardly uncomfortable. I remember vividly watching a random wedding on TV. The bride and groom were all happy and everything was going dandy until that kiss.. Oh my lanta I wanted to crawl out of my skin because of it. Kissing never looked so wrong before. It was awkward and unorganized and chaotic and I’m pretty sure that spit ended up on the floor…. (back to the real point) I’m sure kissing cams haven’t been that bad but it could happen.  Now I am not stating to take everyone’s amusement away of the kissing cam. I am just hoping that whoever gets pick knows what to do. So if you’re going to a baseball or basketball or hockey game anytime soon please make sure that if the little kissing cam points at you, you know how to kiss that special someone. You don’t want to make a whole arena feel uncomfortable because you didn’t know how to kiss properly. 

To The Ones I Love

Tonight I had to do something that truly ached my heart. Recently I got injured and the doctor stated that I had to stop practicing for four weeks. During competition season, four weeks is like three months. I went to my coaches today and delivered the news. Some were very loving and said, “No worries it’s only four weeks. You’ll be back in no time with us” and other were just “We need to figure this out.” The problem with this is that after the four weeks, I wasn’t planning on returning. I figure that I don’t deserve to be back on the team. That person that would be replacing me took my spot for a reason. That person is training while I am home doing homework or some kind of shenanigan. Not to mention, it wouldn’t be fair for the other girls on the team for me to just walk back. They’ve been working to get the awards and recognition and I am not part of that process. Not to mention, they probably hate my guts because I can’t compete and be on the team… Though the thing that sucks is that I am leaving behind my friends and the people I love. To be completely honest, I didn’t like my sport. I detested doing ¾ of it. But the reason I stayed doing it was because my best friends were there and my coaches were more than coaches. They were mentors and leaders and family. There were days that I came into the gym crying and there was a coach that always made me smile. He would say whatever jibber jabber came to mind but it always worked. Not to mention, my friends were like guarding dogs watching that no one made me even more upset. There was even a time that my best friend spoke in my behalf because I was too upset about a tragedy that had occurred. Though his post isn’t about the mishap that happened. This post is for me to take a moment and appreciate those people that have greatly impacted my life. This post is for my best friends who I would hate to lose because of this. You’ve guys are the craziest yet the best kind of people and I hope you guys forgive me if I did something wrong. Not to forget, I would like to thank my coaches for always pushing me to be a better self. I appreciate the fact that you always work with me to get better and the fact you don’t get frustrate it because of how slow I pick up things. Thank you for always making me laugh when I need it. Definitely going to be missing the fun times at the gym with everyone<3. 

Hot Vaginas

“Hot vaginas” is something my favorite coach always says. I remember clearly when he first said it. It was the end of the practice before competition. The coaches were giving us the typical rules and regulations and all that shenanigans. Out of the blues my favorite goes, “Now you better keep your hot vaginas in control”.  He kept going on and on about how we needed to put ice on our hot vaginas to cool them down. I swear I have never laughed so hard before. It was so sudden yet so true. At this age of teenagehood, the hormones are racing and everything seems attractive and therefore, we as girl get hot vaginas. It happens to all of us. Put a picture of Channing Tatum’s body in front of us and the windows will fog up from the steam. This is the age where there are two type of hot vaginas: those that are hot and get the action to put out the fire and those who get no action at all except the one in their mind.  There is nothing wrong with having a hot vagina or being one of these two. But now as the new year is beginning all I am saying is try to keep those hot vaginas under control. There is nothing wrong with having fun but just keep it safe ladies!

You Know What Big Trucks Mean…

I like to call this the big truck theory. I don’t know if I came up with it or if someone else did and I just agreed with it. All I know is that it is probably 95% accurate. The theory goes like this: a guy with a big truck must have a small package. Now, you may be confuse as to how these two correlate. Well, I believe a man with not sufficient “junk” decides to compensate by having a big car. The big car makes him feel manly and powerful. Most men are into cars because of the speed and power and the showing off aspect of it. So when a guy doesn’t feel too confident with what the big man upstairs gave him, he goes running to the car dealership to buy a big car to make him seem like a man. There is nothing wrong with having a big truck; I just see this as a warning sign that such fellow may have a little problem in the downstairs department. Now, if I ever see a man driving a smart car then this boy must be gifted with what he was given. If a guy can drive such a tiny car with confidence, then damn I want to meet him. It’s a silly theory but I have seen cases where the big truck small junk theory has been true. So just a tiny piece of advice: a man’s car always says something about the man. 

Promposal

Besides an engagement proposal, promposal is a pretty big deal in a girl’s life. Especially when it comes to high school, this is an iconic event. I must admit that I am hoping that I get a promposal. I don’t even care if the guy wants to take me to prom… I just want the cutest promposal there has ever been in the high school career of promposals. Having been four years in school, I have seen my fair share. There have been strip tease (yes in the middle of the court yard), banners, flowers, chocolates, and everything and anything that attracts attention. I even part took in one last year! There was also my best friend who asked a guy out by giving him a “God is always with you” balloon. The funny part about this is that he is an atheist…. Lets say he didn’t find it too funny. But back to the point, I would love my promposal to be some kind of guessing game. For the guy to leave a clue in each of my classes and then at the end of the day have the mystery solved! It’s such a quirky idea but I love mystery movies and shows, which make me want a promposal like that. It’s such a silly thing this whole asking out ordeal but it’s a memorable event. The sad part is that many girls don’t experience it :( so upsetting knowing that such an event is not experienced by all just because a guy won’t grow a pair and ask. If he doesn’t ask you then you either ask him or just make a cute promposal and ask your friend! You don’t need a certain guy to make the memories. 

Oh Daddy…

I try to be as open minded as possible when it comes to relationships. Since everyone is different, everyone loves different. I try to tolerate as much as possible the things that people are into but one thing I cannot stand is when a girlfriend calls her boyfriend “Daddy”. This is a wtf moment for me. Why in your right mind would you call someone that is not your paternal figure daddy? Girls who call their boyfriends daddy are definitely not equal in the relationship. A girl’s father is someone who is older, wiser, and guides them towards success. A father provides security emotionally and physically. A father is suppose to be the ideal male figure, YET YOUR BOYFRIEND ISN’T YOUR DADDY. I understand the pet names of baby and love and cutie. Those are the norm, but daddy isn’t one. A little girl calling her father daddy is something that bonds them two together. This is when she still believes in all the good and her father can safe her from all evil. But when I hear a teenage girl call her boyfriend daddy, I just get the heebbie jeebies. Not even if he is your pimp should you call him daddy. Could we as women get some self respect and try to determinate this trend? 

Lovey Dovey Movie

Every once in a while, we need a little sappiness in our life. Here are some cute love movies that are comedies, tear jerkers, or those that one just has to see.

  1. Love Actually
  2. A Walk to Remember
  3. The Notebook
  4. Mr. and Mrs. Smith
  5. When Harry Met Sally
  6. Titanic
  7. Pretty Woman
  8. Crazy Stupid Love
  9. The Devil Wears Prada
  10. Never Been Kissed
  11. Little Manhattan
  12. My Girl